Uncomfortable silence

From RageWiki

[edit] I ONCE CAUGHT A FISH THIIIIIIS BIG

Have you ever been at a party where the music is roughly two points under the decibel range of a cross continental jumbo jet? Of course you have! Or maybe you're a disillusioned basement dweller antisocial. Either way, you're telling an off-kilter joke, presumably one involving how Jews did 9/11 or how Jesus can't eat M&M's. Right as you reach the punchline the track changes and there's this two-second gap. This gap gives you enough time to follow through with the punchline, incredibly offensive, practically fucking yelling it with this shit-eating grin on your face.

This is the point where everyone stops and glares at you, you fucking racist prick.

Your options list has become small and paltry. You can do one of the following:

• Sag your head in shame.
• Shut the fuck up and deal with your failure.
• Make another shitty joke to cover up the last.
• Drink more.

During those few seconds you've entered the realm of uncomfortable silence. "FUCK MY LIFE," is all you can say. Good going, champ!

[edit] I HIT HER CAUSE I LOVE HER

Remember when you were five and your parents would get into an yelling match, over something incredibly drab or stupid, right in front of you and your best friend? Yeah, it's this place in time when it slows or stops completely. You were very complacent in watching the fucking Weather Channel with good ol' mom and dad until dad blurts out something about not finding his hammer out in the garage and, quote, "IT WAS THERE YESTERDAY ON TOP OF YOUR SEWING SHIT, BUT NOW IT'S NOT." To which mom replies "WELL I THREW IT AWAY!"

Uncomfortable fucking silence. Great.

You want to get away, but you can't. You're stuck in the middle of World fucking War Three, right in the living room and it doesn't look like anyone is going to win. Awesome.